Former Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Collab Edition housemate Shuvee Etrata talked about her traumatic childhood experiences and how her journey with Pinoy Big Brother helped move her towards forgiveness.
In an interview with Karen Davila uploaded on her YouTube Vlog last October 31, Shuvee opened about her difficult childhood, sharing how her family faced constant conflicts and financial hardship.
“They were always fighting. Always fighting because of money,” she recalled, describing her parents’ arguments that frequently escalated into physical confrontations.
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She remembered the tension that came with hunger, often hearing her parents fight over their family needs. As a result, she had kept a promise to herself: “Yun yung promise ko talaga sa sarili ko paglaki ko, yung hindi magiging problema sa’kin yung pera kasi pag nakikita kong bukas wala kaming makakain, mag-aaway sila. Gutom na nga kami naririnig pa namin silang nagsusuntukan, live teleserye talaga.”
Despite the difficulties, she noted that small blessings, such as having even just a kilo of rice in a day, offered moments of relief and hope. “Saksi kami sa hirap, however, nandun din yung palagi silang humihingi. Sa lola, kaya masasabi ko rin talagang okay naman. Okay naman kasi may dumadating [na blessing]. God always provides. Always.”
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The actress also reflected on the emotional impact of growing up in unpredictable circumstances. “Yung mga away nila dala-dala ko hanggang ngayon. Yung takot ko sa sigawan, takot ko pag may nag-aaway,” she shared. She admitted that these experiences shaped her personality, making her less confrontational and more reserved about expressing her feelings.
For her, these are the memories she never wanted to remember as it left deep psychological scars that she continues to navigate even as an adult: “[I grew up] in a very violent home. Especially when my dad is drunk. ‘Yun yung mga ayoko na talagang balikan. Lahat kaming magkakapatid, ang goal namin umalis sa bahay. We were like living with, I would say monsters at that time.”
Shuvee began working at an early age, joining pageants and making content on TikTok to help support herself and her siblings. She recounted a painful incident when her parents used her TikTok earnings without her permission. “Ginastos nila nang hindi sinasabi sa’kin. Kaya ako napalayas. Actually, napalayas talaga ako [ng parents ko], hindi ako pumunta dito. Kasi nga po hinanap ko yung pera sa e-wallet ko.”
READ: How Shuvee Etrata made it to showbiz, PBB Collab
After the incident three years ago, she made the decision to move to Manila to pursue opportunities in show business, even though it meant leaving her siblings behind. Even as she pursued her career, Shuvee admitted she was filled with fear and anxiety not for her career, but for her siblings.
“Takot na takot ako non. Kasi ako lang yung [makakaahon] sa iba. Kasi diba we were living in that home, ako lang yung makakaahon and yung mga kapatid ko maiiwan ko. Alam kong iiwan ko sila sa sitwasyon na ayaw ko din. So ‘yun yung takot ko nun,” she said, revealing the heavy sense of responsibility she carried for her siblings. She prayed for her rise to success immediately, hoping to secure financial stability for her family.
Shuvee admitted that growing up, she was filled with anger and resentment, questioning why her father had failed to provide for the family in ways other parents could. “I was ungrateful. I almost forgot what my dad did before. Daddy's girl nga ako before e. Napuno ako sa galit. Yung puso ko napuno ng hatred sa parents ko na alam kong hindi tama. I need to honor them, they are my parents after all,” she said.
Her time on Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Collab Edition became a transformative experience, especially in confronting her feelings towards her father. During the show's Day 53, Shuvee received an emotional letter from him asking for forgiveness that made her conquer her fears.
READ: Despite recent eviction, Shuvee Etrata is grateful to fulfill PBB dream
Through reflection and guidance in the PBB house, she was able to understand that forgiveness was necessary for her own peace of mind.
“Forgiving him is for me, for my peace of mind. It's not for him. I'm not doing it for the sake of him,” she explained.
“Ginawa ko ‘yun dahil para sa akin. Kasi habang buhay ko siya dadalhin kung hindi ko magawang patawarin siya. Kuya [Big Brother] helped me a lot. PBB helped me a lot,” she added.
Today, Shuvee uses her platform to inspire others, sharing her journey of resilience and self-discovery: “Having my platform, I've learned to be more aware, more sensitive, and more at the moment.”
“Ngayon I'm more grounded. Mas grounded ako na alam ko na kung ano yung mundong ginagalawan ko. Pero I will still stay true to myself,” she concluded.
—By Alyana Cabuhat De Guzman