If you had trouble sleeping after Zelda (Ana Abad-Santos)'s revelation in the last episode about her gut feeling that Ingrid (Empress Schuck in flashback scenes) is still alive, Patrick (Joshua Garcia) didn't get much rest either. The next morning, he nearly burns the fried rice until Matmat (Carlo Aquino) rushes into the kitchen just in time.
Episode 53 of "It’s Okay to Not Be Okay" opens with this kitchen scene where the Gonzales brothers share a heartwarming conversation as Patrick encourages Matmat to stop running from his fear of butterflies, and making a promise that he’ll always be there to fight them for him. Patrick's words get to Matmat, making him realize that while his younger brother has always been the protector, he too can protect him just as much.
Later that morning, Matmat boards a bus where he coincidentally rides with Mang Tommy (Bodjie Pascua), who has just been discharged from OK Hospital. Matmat mentions he's headed to Jason (Francis Magundayao)'s restaurant, and then later to the facility for his therapy session with Doc Anok (Bobot Mortiz), who, he says, is pushing him to draw his dreaded butterfly. As someone who's carried fear his whole life, Mang Tommy tells Matmat that one should not remain trapped in the past and let fear dictate the present. He likens it to being locked inside a memory, unable to find the door out.
A tire bursts, the sound echoing like gunfire which triggers Mang Tommy’s old trauma. He hallucinates a literal explosion and scenes from a past war. Acting quickly, Matmat embraces him and asks help from a fellow passenger to dial his emergency contact, Patrick, through his phone. With no answer on the other end, Matmat calls Gemma (Kaori Oinuma) for help instead.
Patrick happens to be on duty at the facility, hiding away in the locker room as he pores over Zelda’s notes, which she claims are Ingrid's, passed to her as if she were the messenger meant to send them to their rightful recipients. Eden (Agot Isidro) steps into the room and catches him studying the papers. When asked what he’s looking at, Patrick quickly covers, saying they are only Matmat’s sketches. Eden cautions him that finding patient notes must be reported right away as it goes against the rules.
But Patrick knows better than to ignore the trail. Determined to investigate, he checks every corner of Zelda's vacated room for more evidence, leading him to a drawer where he discovers a family photograph of the Hernandezes—a young Mia with her parents. In the photo, Ingrid's face had been deliberately erased, leaving only her black dress, long hair, pearl necklace, and the butterfly brooch on her chest. It's the very same photograph Mia hides inside her planner notebook.
Meanwhile, out in the facility’s garden, Matmat recalls Mang Tommy’s advice and forces himself to draw a butterfly on his sketchpad but he still can't. Carlo Aquino once again delivers a masterful performance in this scene, capturing the delicate balance between fear tightening its grip on him and the frustration of wanting to finally break free from it, all while a single tear slips down his cheek.
Patrick rushes into Doc Anok’s office to check on Matmat, but the doctor reassures him that there is nothing to worry about. If anything, they should be proud as Matmat deserves to be celebrated for saving the day when Mang Tommy suffered an episode on the bus.
Matmat shares what Mang Tommy had told him, words which gave him the push to confront his fear. He also remembers the closing lines from Mia’s book "Ang Batang Dinalaw ni Batibat," which read, "Ang masasakit na alaala ay humuhubog sa ating pagkatao. Hindi makikita ang pagkakaiba ng hirap at ginhawa, ng lungkot at saya kung wala ang mga ito. Kaya ang mga ganitong alaala ay huwag burahin, pagdaanan ito at harapin, dahil kung iiwasan lang at hindi dadamhin, mananatili ang buong pagkatao sa lungkot at dilim.”
As Matmat narrates, the scene is interspersed with that of Mang Tommy weeping in his room, opening up to Kai (Louise Abuel) about the horrors he witnessed as a soldier, especially the unbearable memory of innocent children forced into battle and lost in the crossfire.
Back in the office, Matmat relates Mang Tommy’s advice that it's okay to remember the past as long as it's carried as a lesson. Matmat makes a promise that he will fight, that he will try to be brave like Patrick so they won’t have to keep uprooting every time the rainy season comes, and he swears he will stop running from butterflies. Patrick, moved by his brother’s courage, tears up with pride.
Matmat braces himself to face the butterflies. Whimpering, he recalls the night their mother was murdered. A young Patrick (Nathan Bulalacao) and a young Matmat (Noel Comia, Jr.) picked Tess (Meryll Soriano) up from the Hernandez mansion after her duties as the family’s helper. Tess and Matmat passed through the woods, but Matmat ran back along the path to look for Patrick, who had stayed behind to talk to Mia (Ysabella Suarez). He hadn't gone far when he saw a figure moving toward Tess and thought it was Patrick. But as he rushed back, Matmat froze in horror as he witnessed his mother begging a woman dressed in black to believe that she had not had an affair with her husband. The woman called her a liar and stabbed her in the neck. With the little strength she had left, Tess looked at Matmat and pleaded with the woman not to harm her sons.
The woman with long red nails pulled Matmat by the hair and warned him never to speak of what he had witnessed, or else she would hunt him down and kill him. Bowing his head in fear, the only detail in his line of sight was the butterfly brooch on the woman's chest. Then he ran, just as his mother had told him to.
It turns out, the brooch is the 'butterfly' Matmat has always associated with their mother’s killer and the cause of his fear, while that pull on his hair is the reason he couldn't let anyone than Patrick touch his head.
Tears well in Patrick’s eyes as Matmat, sobbing hysterically, recounts what he had seen that night. "Babaeng may paru-paro na nakatusok sa damit" is the clearest detail he remembers. "Malaking paru-paro at maliit na paru-paro nakapatong, nakalagay sa damit ng babae."
Patrick freezes, his fists clenching in disbelief because Matmat’s description matches the photograph he saw earlier—the one of young Mia with Samuel and Ingrid, who in the picture wore a brooch with a big butterfly at the center and a smaller one clustered above it, exactly as Matmat remembers on the killer. And it's impossible not to connect the fact that the crime had happened so close to the Hernandez mansion, too close for coincidence.
Is the 'real butterfly' about to reveal itself?
Catch the final chapter of “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay” on Kapamilya Channel, Kapamilya Online Live (KOL), A2Z, and TV5, weeknights at 8:45 PM. Watch it in advance on iWant.