MANILA — TV host Kuya Kim Atienza is facing the most painful chapter of his life, the passing of his youngest child, Emman Atienza, a 19-year-old influencer and TikTok star whose light and honesty inspired millions.
The daughter of Kuya Kim and businesswoman Feli Atienza, and the youngest sibling of Jose and Eliana, Emman was known for her intelligence, athleticism, humor, and candor in talking about mental health, kindness, and self-awareness.
“Emman did not die in vain. I'll miss her forever. There'll always be a hole in my heart. But because of the Lord, it's filled by Him. But my heart will never be the same. But I'll learn to cope and I'll learn to be less hurt as time comes.” He continued, remembering the global attention her death drew.
“Nagulat ako, Gretchen. When we announced that Emman passed away, she was trending worldwide. Nasa Daily Mail, TMZ, Entertainment Tonight.”
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But for Kuya Kim, what mattered most wasn’t the attention, it was the message.
“Hindi lang pinag-usapan ang nangyari, kundi what she stood for, kindness, mental health, cruelty on social media. Maraming na-inspire, maraming naliwanagan.”
A bright, brilliant, and joyful child
Growing up, Emman was full of energy and curiosity. She excelled in school and in sports, showing a natural drive for excellence from a young age.
“Napakatalino, napakasaya,” Kuya Kim recalled.
“From gymnastics to running to bouldering, she excelled in everything. She could do a 5K in 22 minutes. My Emman filled our home with laughter. Kapag tumawa siya, maririnig mo sa buong bahay," she added.
Kuya Kim Atienza's daughter Emman passes away
But behind her laughter, her family didn’t know that Emman was already living with bipolar disorder, a condition that often goes undetected in children.
“We didn’t know she was bipolar when she was young. Akala namin masayahin lang siya, but we didn’t understand then that when the highs are high, the lows can be very low. That’s how bipolar works, manic happiness followed by deep depression," he said.
“She kept her trauma for years.”
PAINFUL PAST
It was only during therapy years later that the Atienza family discovered a painful secret Emman had kept since childhood.
“We found out she was abused by her yaya (nanny) when she was around five years old. She kept it all inside for years. Only when she was about 12 did we find out through therapy," Kuya Kim aexplained.
“That trauma caused her PTSD, her post-traumatic stress disorder. That’s where everything started. She was a child carrying pain she didn’t know how to name.” The discovery broke their hearts but also made them realize how deep her strength ran.
“Even after everything, she was still kind. Still funny. Still loving. My Emman was hurting, but she helped others heal.”
Kuya Kim vividly remembered the first suicide attempt, during the height of the pandemic in 2020, an image that still lingers in his mind.
“That was the first time. I remember rushing to the hospital. It was the height of COVID, bawal ang pamilya, isa lang ang pwedeng pumasok. I stayed by her side for days," he recalled.
“I was reading her the Psalms while she was semi-conscious. Hindi ko alam, tumatagos pala. She told her friends later that she wanted to live because she knew people cared for her. I just prayed, Lord, please let her live. And when she woke up, she smiled. I knew God was there.”
After recovery, Emman began a structured treatment plan.
“We sent her to a mental health center in the U.S. for two months. She had therapy, psychiatrists, psychologists. When she came home, she was okay for almost two years," Kuya Kim said.
“She became active on TikTok, she was smiling, she was helping others talk about depression and kindness. Akala namin okay na siya. Kasi to be able to talk about it means you’re healing, di ba? Pero sa totoo, she was still in pain.”
'UNPREDICTABLE' CONDITION
For nearly two years, Emman seemed stronger. She was studying again, making content, and enjoying time with her family and friends.
“Her last attempt was two years ago. That’s why this time, it was a shock. We thought she was doing better. We thought she was winning," Kuya Kim said.
But mental illness, Kuya Kim explained, is unpredictable.
"Anything can trigger it, losing your phone, getting scolded, a small rejection. People with chemical imbalance, they can’t always choose correctly. It’s not about willpower. When you’re sick, your brain makes wrong choices.” “So never say, ‘She chose it.’ Because when you’re that sick, you’re not choosing the same way we are. You’re fighting a battle we can’t see," he said.
“Even when you guard them, it can still happen.”
One story that struck Kuya Kim deeply came from a father who, despite his devotion, also lost his child to suicide.
“Someone wrote to me. Sabi niya, ‘Kim, my husband quit his high-paying job in the Middle East to watch over our daughter who was suicidal. For six years, we guarded her 24/7. But one day, while they were all home, she still took her life in the next room.’”
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“That broke me. Because that’s when I realized, when they’re sick, they’ll find a way. You can’t guard them every second. Even while you’re sleeping, they can do it. That’s the cruel truth of this illness.”
“That’s why you can’t blame the parents. You can’t say, ‘You should have been there.’ Because we were. And we loved her with everything we had.”
The Atienza family has already endured unimaginable pain once before. In 2014, Kuya Kim’s niece, the daughter of his sister who also died by suicide after battling depression.
“Ten years ago, my pamangkin also took her life because of depression. It’s not just us, it’s happening everywhere. It’s an epidemic of self-harm. That’s why we have to be extra kind, extra patient, extra loving," Kuya Kim said.
“When your kids say they’re depressed, believe them. Spend time with them. Their generation is different and that’s okay.”
Today, Kim, Feli, Jose, and Eliana lean on each other and on their faith to get through every day.
“I pray every day for Feli, Jose, and Eliana. I know they’re strong, but I ask people to pray that they find peace that surpasses understanding. Because this pain is beyond words," he said.
“Words can kill so just be a little kind.”
Kuya Kim has turned his grief into a mission, a call for compassion, especially on social media.
“In their desire to prove they’re right, people become bullies. Let’s be careful with what we say. Words can hurt. Words can kill," he said.
“If you admire Emman, be a little kinder today. When you’re a little kind, Emman becomes bigger. She lives on in every act of kindness," he added.
UNSHAKEABLE FAITH
He shared a message that moved him deeply, one that came from an American friend of Emman’s on TikTok: “Even in her darkest moments, Emman knew she was deeply loved by God and by you."
“That message gave me peace. Kasi totoo eh, she knew she was loved. I may never understand everything, but I trust God’s plan.”
“I’ll miss her laughter forever. My house will never be the same. But because of the Lord, my heart though broken, is filled by Him. Eventually, grief will turn into beautiful memories of my Emman," he said. “I am in pain, but I also have peace. Without God, it’s all meaningless. But because I believe, I know there’s purpose. All things work out well for those who love God.”
He paused, then smiled faintly. “Just a little kindness, Gretchen. That’s what my Emman would want.”
Through her pain, Emman opened the door for a much-needed national conversation, one about empathy, awareness, and mental health.
Her father’s faith remains unshaken, even in the face of unimaginable loss.
“The Lord saves those who are crushed in spirit. And I am crushed right now. But I know He will heal us in time.”
And so, Kuya Kim’s message remains clear, to parents, to the youth, to the world: “Be kind. Listen to your children. And never judge someone’s pain. A little kindness goes a long way.”
The National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) also reminds the public that the NCMH Crisis Hotline 1553 and the agency’s other numbers are open to anyone suffering from depression or other mental health condition.